Have you ever asked yourself, “How did I get to this place?”
As I sit in this empty house, reflecting on all that I came into this place with versus what I am leaving with, I could have never imaged that this is where I would be.
It’s almost inspiring at this stage in the game. Like, what if life did not present all these moments to me? Or, if I interacted with them differently…what would today look like?
All of it; the losses, the endings, the restrictions, it all happened in order to lead me closer to this person (me). It also was there to provide me with a lessons.
My divorce set in motion event after event that would force me to unpeel many layers of my self. Parts of me that I didn’t even know existed.
Challenging situations create a fierce need to bring about change. Changes that I was unwilling to see or make for a very long time. Those challenging situations continued to show up in different ways, when there is sufficient reason to overcome the inertia every day life.
As I end this chapter of the last year, I have to give myself some credit. I never knew How strong I was until now. How much I have proven time and time again that although I can get knocked down, I keep getting up and moving toward no matter how painful the impact has been.
I wonder how things may have been different today if I would have began making changes months ago? But recognize that my path needed to be walked in just this way to full grasp what I needed to learn.
I encourage you to look at how you store up your energy to fight change, resist what life is trying to teach you, and in doing so avoid the very thing you are destined to become.
I fought. I fought hard. I ignored any attempt life gave me to learn for a very very very long time. I saw each challenge as a barrier, not an opportunity. Seriously, its like how much did I need to be beaten up before I realized that I already had what it took to fix the problem?
It’s funny this act of surrender. The more I begin to sit back, the more life begins to unfold with ease. I’m leaving with the exact feelings that I moved here with; a hopefulness, an excitement for new adventure, a motivation to be a better person…but I am also leaving with new feelings which I never saw as valuable in the past. I’m humbled beyond belief, more grateful than I have ever been, and more compassionate towards myself and other’s.
No matter who you are, life is going to put you through the changes that you need to go through. The question is are you willing to use this force for your own transformation. The hardest of times don’t have to leave emotional/psychological scars. If you are willing to process these changes at a deeper level.
Here is the deal….you are guaranteed to suffer at one point or another. My challenge to you, now that I am fully aware of how much I allowed that suffering to impact me is: will you allow your thoughts to impact your suffering more OR will you take a moment to look at the lesson within the suffering, note what shifts you need to make, and begin the movement towards change? Which in turn creates growth out of the suffering!
There isn’t anything better than having a problem worth solving…it’s the challenge of not fighting against the problem, and instead focusing your energy on fixing it without fear of what happens next.
For the first time, I did this whole heartedly post Rainey’s death, and have found that the universe had given me exactly what I had been asking for.
More to come.
Can you stay open when the unviverse pulls the rug from beneath your feet, peirces your heart, tears are streaming, dizzied by another unexpected turn of the tides…will you feel then, “I am safe”.
Can you remain grateful when the universe removes your prized jewel. Steals it from you delicate hands, leaves you empty, you struggle to understand why. Will you feel then, “I am whole?”
Can you remain soft. When the universe brings you harshness, challenges all you have clung to. Your questioning all your beliefs, tempted to build walls around your dreams. Will you breath into your belly and remain tender?
Can you love with all your heart, with no expectation of its return. Knowing that nothing is forever. Not even your own life. Will you still dance under the stars singing, “it feels so good to be alive.”
— Christine Hassler