I will never be accused of lacking effort.
Can you relate? And, have you found that this mentality has bit you in the ass a few too many times?
I know I can’t be the only one.
I’m not sure if this mentality started in 1st grade when I began team sports. Maybe it was the message I heard over the years, ”The more you put in, the more you get out.” It may be related to my perfectionist tendencies. OR, it is solely related to my giving nature.
What I realized last week after several discussion with mother’s who share a commonality of “mom guilt” aka not ever feeling like they are doing enough.
And then, within my own coaching session where I broke down my marriage. I mean, I knew it was a failure from the beginning. There were so many signs; but I ignored them, I hid them…because I made a choice and now the effort had to compensate for that! So when he asked for the divorce, I was PISSED. Because I worked my ass off just to make it work.
I know other woman, who feel a need to take on things or take care of things; you know the old “oh don’t do that, I got it” as a way to prove their self worth and when it’s “taken” from them, they question their level of power within the relationship.
We give and give and give. In some subconscious effort, I believe, to feel like we are in control. To feel like we have it together. To feel like we fit in….but in all these scenarios, and I am sure many more; we don’t. We are awkward as fuck, still trying to figure out who we are. What our role is in life, with these people and especially within ourselves. It’s exhausting and honestly self puninative.
Whatever the case may be, if you have gotten lost over the years in your forced efforts to make things work in your life; its time you set some clear goals and boundaries for yourself.
Why? To keep you on track. Clearly, you are able to get shit done, it’s just a shift of putting that level of effort into yourself first.
When your life is of service; at home or at work, it can get tricky.
It’s like a fog; heavy and thick. A struggle to see through and unsure of what is ahead, because you’re hypnotized by this internal expectation to please everyone else first. Which means, you lose yourself in the process.
Your happiness and health decline, your belief in yourself is lowered, your self love my be non-existent. You may feel guilty or ashamed when you don’t give first. Without clear goals for what you want YOUR future to look like, you end up with no return on your investment.
I want to help you reduce the fog, and shine some light on what’s possible for your future self. So that when youre done working with me, your max effort is focused on yourself first. And, I’m doing this, your level of self love has raised your standard for how much of yourself is given to others.
So, are you ready to start putting max effort into yourself? This is definitely not a linear line. But, simply asking yourself, “what do I want”, which may in fact help keep you on track when you begin to get lost in that fog again.
”There is a stirring in my soul; a restless, wild anticipation. I am staring out into the horizon, as far as I can. I cant see whats beyond it, but I can feel it” —Lang Leav