Are you holding a grudge with yourself or someone else?
Something to think about….the quicker you can forgive yourself for not knowing what you didn’t know until you actually lived through that thing that is making you feel angry, frustrated, manipulated, sad, yada yada yada; the faster you will begin to transition into that next and upgraded part of you waiting to grow!
For me, it’s been all about the re-set, re-adjust, re-start, re-focus…and I’ve done it a good bit of time over the last year. And, just an FYI, you can do it as many times as you need to as well.
I’ve done a lot of things wrong in my life, have been angry at myself, and angry at others (I share about it in detail in my blog).
When I was able to reframe the wrongs and heavy grudges I had because of my losses, into challenges and opportunities for growth, I found myself seeking the lighter side of each experience I have.
Although, I am relationship-less, penniless, (was) dog less, am in a temporary living situation, and bartending with a Master’s degree…I can’t help but laugh at how I got to this point, and feel grateful for who I am because of all of it.
Through all this wrong…I think I’m starting to get it right.
No matter my wrongs, my mistakes, my questionable and sometimes stupid decisions. I am so proud of doing it all…and that’s just it, instead of holding that grudge I began letting go and grabbing onto pride wherever possible.
You see, at the end of the day, I just want to be proud of myself.
I want to be proud of the love I gave to others—even though my heart has been broken several times over, I continued to risk being vulnerable for another chance of giving love to someone deserving of it.
I want to be proud of the effort I gave to those I cared about, and asked for forgiveness to those who I have hurt.
I want to be proud of the fact that I know, without a doubt, that I showed up with intensity, ruthlessness, and compassion as much as I could.
I want to be proud of the fact that I helped others feel seen, confident, and important…versus alone, ashamed, and devalued.
I want to be proud of my life—the way I shed a thousand layers, the ways I fell flat on my face, and the ways I gracefully rise time and time again…and healed.
I want to be proud of my mistakes, knowing I could have changed a long time ago, but stubbornly continued down the same path because I had more to learn.
I want to be proud of the way I allowed my emotions to intensely move me across the country, melt me into a gooey matter on the ground, and bring me back to life because I am an emotional being at my core!
I want to be proud of my willingness to keep growing, by letting go of those parts of me I am so familiar with, because I want to be a better person.
I want to proud of the ability to be humble enough to say “I’m sorry”, and make amends with those I have hurt while I have been hurting.
I want to be proud of every flaw and beauty quality that I have.
Jeff Brown says it best: “Sometimes the people with the greatest potential often take the longest time to find their path because of their sensitivity is a double edge sword—it lives at the heart of their brilliance, but it also makes them more susceptible to life’s pains. Good thing we aren’t being penalized for handing our purpose late. The soul doesn’t know a thing about deadlines.”